Evolution...

[willydiver]

The History of Civilization by R. LIMBAUGH

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer

and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:

1. The invention of beer.

2. The invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.
These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct
subgroups:

1. Liberals

2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered , it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were
invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the
sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the
Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They
crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends the lesson in world history.......

It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this hi story that it will be forwarded immediately to other
true believers, and to more liberals...just to tee them off.

Have a great day!

[BoatDR]

Bbbbbbbbbuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!:l aughing1:




I usually dont like ole Rush, but that is one of the funniest things I have read in a while!

[furduknfish]

I call shens, you can't beat a fresh piece maguro sashimi. I guess that's a byproduct of living on the gulf coast.

Still funny as hell.

[willydiver]

Originally Posted by furduknfish

I call shens, you can't beat a fresh piece maguro sashimi. I guess that's a byproduct of living on the gulf coast.

Still funny as hell.

Ya, I know.... I love the "Spider Rolls" our local Japanese steakhouse has. Hard to beat softshell crabs anyway you roll 'em. And I admit, I have been guilty of the lime in the beer thing...... one time that is!:Banane38:

[Gun Doc]

Yellow Fin sashimi is one of my favs, but the way I eat my beef would make a liberal call me a savage. I'll put a lime in certain beers, 'specially in the hot summer.

[ALMODUX]

Lime is for Mexican beer only....it kills the taste of the water and lets you enjoy the beer in it.:crazy:

Actually, Dos Equis green with a lime is good stuff, but still...gimme a Coors, Bud, Sam Adams, Miller, Michelob, etc. They'r ain't nothing wrong with eating a little raw tuna...OFF A TUNA YOU JUST DRUG UP OFF THE 'LUMP! Heck, that should be a right of passage, like deer blood on your face or a mallard curl in your cap.